


Sexual Awakening

by pottahmalfoy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottom Draco Malfoy, Confused Harry Potter, Crossdressing Draco Malfoy, Explicit Sexual Content, Feminine Draco, Gay Draco Malfoy, Gay Sex, M/M, POV Harry Potter, Sexual Confusion, Smut, Top Harry, sexual awakening
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-26 05:46:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30101214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pottahmalfoy/pseuds/pottahmalfoy
Summary: Harry is confused and then awakened.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 3
Kudos: 59





	1. Chapter 1

It's hard.

It's very hard.

What's hard you ask? My cock. My cock is fucking hard it could knock ten burly men at a bar and yet not one certain blonde. 

I didn't know what happened of course. I am not gay, you see. I am a man. A man who will marry a woman, fuck a woman, and then have children then send them to Hogwarts but I don't really don't know what happened.

One day, I passed by at Gaydar, a new wizarding pub for obviously, gay people. I wasn't planning on going in because why would I? I'm straight. So straight. So fucking straight but as I was passing by, I saw this familiar blonde head, pointy git who had made my life miserable at Hogwarts. Pointy git who did nothing but point out how better he is than anyone else and the curiosity got the best of me and I found myself entering.

A sound of loud music, smell of alcohol and cigarettes and people grinding in each other was what greeted me. I really am not a fan of bars because I would rather stay at my apartment and drink there with my pet, a dog named Siri, who I named after my godfather. I rather prefer drink my beer in the living room, listening to classical music then watch some historical movies which I found myself liking.

I was never good at History of Magic but I'm rather into Historical Movies, the reason why is unknown and don't bother knowing because it's probably nonsense. 

So back to my story at Gaydar, I went inside right? I saw him at the dance floor, grinding his butt to some stranger who was wearing a simple shirt and simple jeans and he was wearing a pink short skirt and a matching pink crop top that did nothing to my imagination.

I wouldn't want to say what I thought about then because I didn't know Malfoy had such a nice long legs and a round butt that unfortunately made my mind wander to explicit sexual contents. I didn't know why and I had no idea how I thought about that because I'm certain my cock is for girls. However, it seemed that my cock is going against my ideals.

Malfoy was sexy. His arms slim, his waist fit, and that nipples I surprisingly was able to see clearly even from a distance, that face free from anything but an obvious amount of enjoyment of what he was doing.

Naturally, I was shocked when I realized because I knew Malfoy from Hogwarts and he was straight. I didn't know he is bent. He wore suits, black and depressing suits. His hair slicked back and always a rigid expression. A sneer and a slur ready to come out of his mouth. I never saw him in the way I did back at Gaydar.

His hair mussed, his mouth agape, his eyes closed as he grinded and grinded. The man who danced with him had his hands around Malfoy's shockingly feminine type of a body. His hands were wondering over to that pale and pearly skin, shining and glowing with the light. I had a thought that night that Malfoy is a walking spotlight and I nearly gasped in astonishment. Why would I think that?

And what mortified me was when the man palmed him through his skirt, I grew hard especially when the skirt lifted a little I had a little sight of his matching pink lacy panties.

I came home, hard as a rock, but I fought the urge to jerk off. I wouldn't jerk off with the imagination of Malfoy. Why would I do that? I am straight so I started to wank with images of sexy girls but I didn't come, much to my dismay.

And currently, I am sporting another huge boner. I am fairly sure that if Siri was a human, he'd be bothered to see me with a raging hard-on I am not able to tone and calm down because everytime I start to play with it while thinking about women in particular, I would be losing interest and I am not able to come.

I woke up one morning with a hard-on and I was only able to convince it to go away when I begrudgingly thought about Snape and Flitwick going at it and I shuddered in recoil.

But when I woke up this morning, I was greeted an erect cock, standing proud, all with its power and I was clouded of desire, the need to cum.

My mind went back to that night, the memory of Malfoy in skirts and in that lacy knickers sent a tingle to my cock and it gave me an excited throb. What was happening? Why would my cock throb? 

I never felt so hard in my entire life. I adjusted my grey sweatpants and palmed myself as I look down. The bulge was very obvious and I groaned.

I am straight. I was straight but what is happening? I found no reasons in specificity but the thought of a blonde person in general.

And I moaned as I leaned back to my couch. I continued palming my cock, pressing and massaging it as I groaned at the tingling sensation it was giving me while I think about him infuriatingly.

I wasn't able to hold back when I took my cock out of my sweatpants and I slid my hands fast and would swipe my thumb at the wet slit leaking precum and sliding through my shaft, lubricating it and I was provided a smooth glide of my hands that gave me delicious feelings that draws me closer to that orgasm.

I didn't know how I started it or when but I imagined him kneeling between my parted legs with mouth opened and tongue eagerly waiting to lap at my come as I thrust into that wet heat, looking over his body with nothing but a knickers on.

I thrusted my hips to meet my hand and after several seconds that felt like years, I finally calmed myself down, shooting messily at the table, to my clothes to the floor and when I thought about Malfoy lapping my cock up the excess, I shot another load and I moaned in exhaustion.

Days with a hard-on was tiring and I was glad I am able to reach an orgasm now but why him? Why Malfoy?

After spelling myself clean, I laid at the couch for hour. Resting and closing my eyes in the process as I sighed deeply.

Until I saw someone.

At the back of my closed eyes, I saw a figure approaching, hips dangerously and sexily swaying, legs long and a familiar face. Malfoy.

I nearly tackled over the floor as I frantically sat up. Just what was that??

I growled and stood up. I might as well just go buy my stock of food.

I grabbed a shirt and told Siri I will be back. I went to a muggle supermarket which is better because I wouldn't be swarmed up with people asking for my autograph or try to bed me. No, I only fuck certain type of women, pick them when I want them but it seemed that wasn't something I would be doing now.

I don't know what's happening to my body and I don't appreciate it one bit.

I went to the snacks' section, looking for junk foods to eat at midnight when I get hungry and can't sleep. I was in the process of picking some when my eyes caught someone that passed by at the end of the aisle I am in.

A blonde hair. I blinked and followed secretly. Saw the person going in the wine section as I hid behind a rack. Is that him? Is that Malfoy? His back turned to me. He was wearing another skirt but pleated in the color black and a white crop top and a white pumps. His skirt riding up a bit when he reach for a wine in the upper spot of the rack and that milky legs was attractive. I cannot deny then that he looks pretty.

He turned around and I gulped when it confirmed me his identity. It was Malfoy. Why is he in a Muggle supermarket? Does he even know what to do?

When I realized that he was walking and would pass by me, I started to pretend I was perusing the contents of the racks I was hiding in. Seasonings. I can hear his footsteps drawing nearer as I tuck my head lower and acted as if I was picking between two brands of condiments.

And then it disappeared.

"Potter?"

I stopped. Did someone say Potter?

"Potter,"

It's him. It's Malfoy. I gulped when my cock reacted first. I prayed to Dumbledore's grave to let me survive this moment and not let my cock hard again because it will show through the sweatpants I am wearing and it's grey. My sweatpants are grey.

But I didn't know how to properly react then because seeing him up close sent another tingle in the back of my head and a wave in my cock. Come on, do cooperate. I wouldn't want to look like a randy Harry that would make me the front page again though it would be impossible since I am in the muggle supermarket.

And when I inhaled and caught a whiff of his sweet smell, I nearly staggered back. There was something inside me who reacted with that scent and I fully grew hard. Harder than a while ago.

And why is Malfoy still standing there? He should walk off. The sight of him in that skirt and crop top and the close up view of those legs, I started to think those around my waist as I fuck him into total incoherency and feed him dinner afterwards. Or better yet, eat dinner with him afterwards.

"Malfoy" I wasn't sure if it was said as a moan, growl, whine, or groan but it was understandable.

Or perhaps not.

I see the way Malfoy's forehead contorted and I was scared. Did he notice? No, he shouldn't. Come on Dumbledore, do your powers. I prayed to your grave.

"I haven't seen you for years." 

Let's keep it that way, okay? 

But then, I saw him last week so it's not really years then, isn't it? And why is he talking to me casually? We're not even that close, not even a proper acquaintance.

And, do I really have to answer to him? Because if you ask me, I'd rather go home and take care of my current problem and hopefully won't see him again until I die.

But he looked like he's waiting and I cannot even open my mouth because it's confusing me to such extent. And I was terrified of what I'll say once I open my mouth and I might whimper and I couldn't do that. Especially to him.

But I felt my face redden awkwardly and it was bad and Malfoy noticed it and when he unconsciously licked his lips, my cock hardened even more, if it was possible.

His red lips that seemed so soft would look so good around my shaft and I don't even know why I am thinking this way. Maybe it's not my mind that's thinking but my dick. 

"Potter, are you going to explode?" his tone was confused and I sighed deeply, tried to control my lust.

"I-i wa-" I couldn't continue so I cleared my throat and gripped the basket tight in my left hand, pouring all what I can.

I tried again, "I was j-just supreece" 

It wasn't better. What even is supreece? Fuck. Can you cooperate, self? 

Malfoy raised an eyebrow and it looked so bloody elegant. "I mean surprised. Yeah, surprised"

I didn't know what I did wrong or if what I said is wrong because he glowered at me coldly and clenched his jaw. But why did he still look beautiful?

"Fuck off, Potter" he snapped and I looked at him confused, as confused as I am with my gender.

"W-what? What did I do?" I asked with the biggest confusion written on my face and Draco glared even more and I was so bewildered at that stare.

Can someone get a time turner so I can figure out what I did? I cannot even remember if I was offensive. I mean, I was watching him and then he saw me and then called my name and then talked to me and then I said I was surpreece then corrected it to surprised and then he glared? 

"If you're disgusted, you can say so" he snapped angrily. Disgusted? I am not disgusted Malfoy. I am extremely turned on, if you can just look down to my sweatpants, you'll see.

He lightly pushed me in the chest and stomped off and that touch, that touch was stimulating and I know my cock loved it because I felt it leaked. I watched him walked off, his skirt bouncing off his ass and he was so sexy I might not be able to sleep peacefully tonight.

I spelled my sweatpants immediately by a wave of my hands. And as I go back to my apartment, I wanked with the image of him whether or not I welcomed my imaginations willingly, I was still confused.

The next time I met Malfoy was in Gaydar, I went there. I'll deny that it was because I hoped to see him. Just believe me with this because I cannot be gay. I fucked girls before, wherever I can bend them to but I cannot even jerk off with the thought of them anymore.

He was grinding with someone again, different this time, it was someone taller than last time and more handsome if you ask me but the thought of him didn't stir my cock so why am I hard for Malfoy?

And speaking, he was wearing a dress this time. Inadequate. It was open to the sides and that thigh boots was enough to send any man into sexual bliss. I imagined those legs wrapped around my head as I blow him until he comes and it's not even a surprise anymore where my cock nodded in agreement.

I need a book of sexuality. I don't read but I will for this.

I sat down at the counter, ordered the strongest alcohol and drank it in one gulp. Ordered another one immediately but let it sit in front of me.

I was looking around and I will deny it again that I was looking at Malfoy from the corner of my eye. I took a sip of my drink and when I mean sip, downed it again as I ordered another one. I'm used at alcohol so it's no worries. I wouldn't wake up in someone else's bed because it's usually them who wakes up in mine though I rarely bring women in my bedroom.

Until I felt a hand around my shoulder and when I turned my head to look saw a stranger. It was a man (because I refused to acknowledge them into someone else just because of what they are wearing so I'll wait until they identify themselves) dressed in leather skirt and a see through crop top so I can very much notice that pink nipples beneath the clothes. He looked adorable, smaller than me and petite but very adorable.

He smiled at me rather innocently as he sat down in front of me, his hands in my thigh and I didn't bother to brush it away.

If he's here to hit on me then I might as well do my own experiment.

"Hey handsome" 

My body didn't react with the way they should. Being complimented about my looks rarely appealed to me anyway. I nodded and gave him a slight smile.

"I'm Alex" he introduced and I nodded again, contemplating whether to introduce myself as who I am though he's acting like he doesn't know me so maybe there's no harm at all.

"I'm Harry" I introduced. 

We talked and I respond respectfully now and then. Tried to flirt with just as much he was trying to flirt with me but my cock wouldn't wake up so there must be something wrong. Do I need to go to St Mungo's? But I don't fancy people knowing I was there because my cock refused to harden without the thought of Malfoy.

"So you're first time here then" at one point he said. I don't know how he came with that conclusion but I didn't bother to ask.

"Second time" I said.

And then, there was another point wherein he asked me to dance with him and I obliged for the sake of my experiment and hopefully I will be able to draw out a conclusion and solve this puzzlement.

I don't know how to dance but I grinded against him, followed his flirty behavior, his ass pushing against my front and it seemed that my cock shied away even more so I pretended to enjoy the situation. It's a pity, the boy was adorable and I cannot really just waste this when he came to me by himself but I really wouldn't like to shag him just because I need to clear my confusion.

There was this point where I felt another presence behind me, a small hand caressing my back and I was surprise to feel my body reacted. My cock jerked forward and the man in front of me moaned, he must've feel it.

I turned my head to see Malfoy smirking at me and my body was instantly hot. I need to leave.

His hands keeps on caressing my back and I closed my eyes, feeling his hands arouse me and successfully seduced me into reaction.

What happened at the supermarket and the way he was angry at me was forgotten as I realized I was enjoying his hands around me.

I thrusted my cock to the boy dancing in front of me and he moaned, straightening his body as he rubbed his ass on me, firmly.

I leaned down to whisper on his ear, "Sorry darling. I have to go. See you here tomorrow baby"

It wasn't true of course. I wouldn't see him again and I will not be coming back here anymore.

I leaped away and ignored Malfoy's laughter mocking me.

When I visited the Ministry because of something I needed to speak to Kingsley and denied another of his attempts to get me into the Auror Force because I think I have been through enough and just wanted to take a rest and enjoy my remaining life. I really don't need to work because I have inherited more than enough. The only think I work is work out.

I wasn't aware that Malfoy was in the Ministry and he didn't wear a skirt or a dress but a leather trousers that hugged all the assets just right. He didn't smile at me when he saw me at the corridor but his eyes glinted with mischief when I step inside the elevator to get back to my apartment.

We were the only ones in the elevator, he was in behind as I stood straight in front and I can feel his eyes staring at my back, piercing a hole and yes, my body reacted again.

"Fancy seeing you here, Potter" his voice was normal but it wasn't for my cock and my confused emotions.

My mind rotated 360 degree as I stared at my reflection on the elevator. Emerald shirt and jeans, nothing too fancy. Good thing my jeans were black and hide my tent a little more than lighter colors.

"I didn't know you're bent" he said and I know he was pertaining at what happened at Gaydar. 

Because I am not Malfoy. How many times do I have to repeat that over my head? I am straight. Not bent. 

"I was surprised you didn't fuck the boy" he added and I sighed, not really wanting to answer and wished the elevator to arrive at where I am heading.

"Which was understandable" I didn't know what he meant but I didn't care.

"He's still a boy. Only a man can take a Potter" I, again, didn't know what he meant by that.

Come on, faster. Why is this elevator so slow? 

There was a sudden faint explosion in the elevator and I jolted forwards, hearing Malfoy's chuckle behind me.

"The elevator's broken" he said and I groaned both in frustration and savory emotion. I am both thankful and perplexed.

The better and kinder part of me cursed the Ministry for not checking their facilities while the hornier part of me thanked them. I don't know what to call this.

I cursed lowly and Malfoy chuckled, he must've had heard me.

"You looked so nervous",

Because I am, Malfoy. I am. 

"I don't bite"

Yeah sure.

"I suck"

Yes fucking sure.

I...

I didn't know where that thought came from. No, no. That's not me. That wasn't me.

I bit my tongue and just focused on what I am staring at until I heard him moved and giggled afterwards. What a delightful sound.

Don't crumble, Harry. Don't crumble. 

But all thoughts of strength flew away when I felt that hand again. Don't mind it, cock. Don't mind it.

I felt his presence close to me and that sweet scent filled nostrils. My shaft throbbed and I breathed deeply.

"I'm a man" he paused and I shuddered when I felt his tongue licked at my nape and his hands began to wander to my front, "Gay but man", he added.

Okay Malfoy. And I'm a man too. Man but man but I don't know anymore. When I hoped to have a normal life, I didn't ask for this.

"Are you?" he asked and then again, I think we know the answer for that, right?

I'm straight. So straight, Malfoy.


	2. Chapter 2

I don't know what's happening anymore. Malfoy drove me crazy but I didn't know what it meant. He touched me, licked my nape but I didn't know why he did that.

I stood there and felt his hands roamed around my body as my cock woke up from its slumber and my breath hitched.

He chuckled behind my ear, "Feeling good?" 

Yes and no.

Yes because never did I feel like this immense lust and no because never did I feel like this to anyone else. I don't like where this was going especially because I think I already have an inference and I don't like what I am thinking.

"What are you doing?" I asked, with a little gasp in the end because his palm landed in my right nipple and I will deny that it felt good because it didn't even if it fucking did.

He chuckled again, mischievous, "Can't I have a taste of the savior?"

No. You cannot.

"Stop this Malfoy" I warned, my hands balled into fist in my sides as I try to control my reasoning. Just hold on tight, self.

"I pity the boy. He looked so enchanted with you"

As my cock with you.

What stilled me as I felt my whole self roared with this confusing celebration of nerves was when Malfoy encircled his hands to my waist and it just felt right.

But why was he back hugging me?

"You smell good" he complimented as I felt him laid his head on my shoulder and breathed what he said was a good scent.

It's actually just a muggle perfume. I naturally smell like treacle tarts and fire so it's actually nice that I sprayed on perfume.

"Why are you really doing this?" I asked, my eyebrows meeting each other as I watched our reflection in the shiny elevator. It felt so small and felt so confined. Restricted me a fresh supply of oxygen to get myself going with freedom.

I don't like where this is going anymore so I fought the urge from Malfoy slamming his back at the wall. He should behave like the Malfoy he was back in Hogwarts.

I don't need this kind of Malfoy, the kind I met in Gaydar and the kind that keeps on turning me on. 

And why is he acting clingy?

"I've heard stories" he answered, one of his hands began to roam again from my waist to my chest, his fingers travelling and I shivered. 

"How good of a shag you are and I want to see it for myself" he added and I growled lowly.

So, this is his intention. I turned around and slammed him at the wall. His eyes grew wide as I clenched my jaw, ignoring what his expression said. I breathed deeply as I grabbed both of his hands and pinned it above his head with my left hands as I dove into his neck and sucked.

It is delicious. The apple scent and expensive nostalgia of Paris and something that obviously symbolizes Malfoy and my cock shivered with me. I sucked on it.

 _This is just to confirm my gender. Nothing too serious._ I told myself as I heard him moan, his wrists trying to get away from my firm grip but I wouldn't let him touch me.

If he were get a taste of me, it will be in my ways. If Malfoy shags me, it wil be in my terms and only I get to touch him and see, see at the end of this that I am straight. Not gay, not bisexual, not anything but straight.

Pussies. That's what will I end up and not anal. 

I sucked on his pale skin as I had the illusions of sinking my teeth into it and suck his blood but I'm aware I'm not a vampire.

"Potter" he called and moaned but not too much and yet it was enough to excite my cock.

I pressed my hips into him and grinded against him and he huffed, panting. I felt his legs trembling but I didn't mind as I bucked my hips as he tried to do the same which isn't much considering I held the upper hand and he barely has any space to move.

If I tell you what I am feeling right now, it would be extremely full of description, may it be creative or realistic, it would be long. I'll put it in simple terms, maybe in a sentence.

It was good and yet petrifying. 

For Merlin's sake, I am straight.

I told myself that I am straight as I fingered his rim, expertly nudging his insides though I had trouble finding his prostate because this would be my first time fucking a man and my first time doing anal.

I don't know what to feel. If I should be weirded out or put off but Malfoy seemed to be enjoying it if the soft gasps that left his mouth is of any indication. He lightly bucked his ass against my finger and then moaned aloud.

"Potter. P-potter" he moaned and maybe, I did touch his prostate then.

I don't know why I relished on his reactions, loved his moans and heard it as music, a march for something I try to deny and confuse myself. I don't know why I felt myself leaked precum as I rubbed my clothed erection against his. The roughness of my jeans contrasted the smooth of his skin and it was such a new sensation, new thrill, a new something.

"Potter, ready. I-i ready" he whimpered and I wasn't even disgusted, in fact I moaned back. Whether it be willingly or not, I moaned back.

I vanished my jeans, turned him around, pinned his wrists above his head again as I thrusted into that heat where I imagined myself to be in.

And it's happening. I am shagging Malfoy. I didn't give him any chance to see my cock, his head leaning on the wall he is pinned in, squeezing his own cock in between and moaned, the sound so Malfoy and so gay. 

I don't know if it's gay for me or not and I convinced myself that I don't care. Why would I? This is just another experiment.

I thrusted roughly, rougher than I usually do because it's Malfoy. I am confused yes but I wouldn't confused fucking to making love and this isn't love nor whatever goodness it may be. 

This is sex, no strings attached as I did my research. Am I gay? Am I bent? Or I am straight in a way I should be?

"Oh" he said and felt him jerked slightly forward and maybe I hit his prostate again and shifting my hips a litte, I changed direction to where I know I would find that and fucked him through his orgasm by abusing it over and over again.

When he came untouched, it drove into the edge as I felt his hole contracted, squeezing me and I lost it. I pulled away and came on his back.

I don't know why I also relished on the sight of my cum on his skin. I wasn't even aware when I scooped the cum with my fingers and gestured for him to licked it. I, again, don't know why I relished when he lapped it with what seemed to be a perfect passion, expertly sucking my fingers and I imagined it was my cock on his mouth, blowing me Malfoy style and I groaned in frustration.

I clenched my jaw and closed my eyes. This isn't done. I know.

The next two weeks, I didn't leave my house. Well, I did because I need to walk Siri so I occasionally go outside, in the park around the corner as Siri run in it and have fun, looking for squirrels to play with and with no such luck.

Apparently, my research turned into something else. I didn't clear my confusions but I have found one thing.

My cock keeps on looking for Malfoy and his ass that I now accepted is satisfying. Orgasmic and as I wanked inside my bedroom, I had this slightest thought of tasting his ass, burying my head in between two perfect globes and have him writhing and trembling more than he trembled back at the Ministry elevator.

When the elevator was fixed, I ran away without a goodbye because why would I? It's Malfoy right? No need for kind formalities.

I left him there silently as I felt his eyes in the back of my head or in my ass, I wasn't so sure. And I didn't look back even if my cock tried to convince me after all, my head with my face in it is still bigger than my head with my balls below.

Today, I also have another conclusion. Something that's terrifying to such degree but also something grandiose in some aspect.

Maybe fucking Malfoy isn't such a good idea.

I always feel his arms around my waist and I always dream of those expressions with his moans and noises. And my cock keeps on getting hard, trying to tell me it needs that hole it went into. That pureblood hole, stretch it wide with my girth and have it swallow my size, balls deep.

I also continuously imagine him always kneeling at my feet. Wherever I am in the shower, in the kitchen, in the dining, or even in the veranda, I imagined him beside me, kneeling with my cock in his mouth, fucking him and thrust deep as I feel the back of his throat hitting the head of my cock.

I visualized him not having any gag reflex because it's Malfoy. I imagined him in red knickers, corsets, and naked walking around my apartment.

It was such an intense visualizations and imaginations that I felt myself get dizzy. I need air. I need air or I will choke.

I sighed and ruffled my hair in exasperation. What is happening?

I decided to go out, try to take a walk with Siri who is too excited and too happy because he knows he gets to go in the park again, patiently waiting for squirrels to play with.

I turned around the corner to get to the stairs but I stopped when I saw a familiar blonde hair and he wasn't alone.

He was standing in front of a door with a man in his arms and they were kissing.

They were kissing full on the lips and I found myself getting angry. I don't know why. I mean, it's Malfoy so why am I angry? No, don't tell me that I am jealous. I am not jealous. It's Malfoy, why would I be jealous?

With a glare, I walked back to my apartment, hearing Siri huffed an annoyed expression at me. I sighed and gave him a treat as I entered the room.

"I'm sorry. We'll go there tomorrow. I promise" I tried to explain to him as he accepted the treat I gave him.

I found myself in Gaydar again. I am in Gaydar again.

But this time, I am not drinking alcohol or dancing. I am leaning against Alex who I surprisingly see, his arms wrapped around my neck as he was leaning his back against the wall.

I was leaning one of my hands beside his head as I nipped at his jaw. I didn't kiss him on the lips because I don't kiss people in the lips, especially when I still try to convince that I am straight. 

I don't think I can ever kiss Alex platonically but I had a short contemplation about it because he really is adorable.

"Harry", he moaned and it didn't even excite me. Yes, poor Alex, but what can I do? I really cannot force my interest, can I?

I sushed him gently as I travelled to his his neck to his collarbone, his arms loosening and began to grope me sexually.

From my biceps to my abdomen. It didn't gave me the kind of tingle I felt with that bastard Malfoy but it provided me a little bit, a little bit of something.

Well, that's a start then right? It's good?

Should I fuck him now?

"H-harry"

Somehow, my mind kept on looking for a certain voice. Certain moan and certain body. A moan of my name but not my first name. I seek of a moan of my last name but bite back my tongue so I wouldn't tell Alex to call me Potter.

I sucked on his collarbone, it tasted strange. Not in a way it wasn't yummy or something but in a way that it was different, it was peculiar, a new to the tongue and mouth.

Which is again something that puzzled me because why would it taste strange? I tasted Malfoy's neck for the first time and it didn't feel new.

"Harry, p-please"

I bit harshly and left him a mark. I atleast have to leave something in him if I know I wouldn't stick my dick in his ass. His words didn't turn me on at all and I am deeply guilty. Alex is adorable, he's quite cute and extremely looking so innocent but too submissive.

I don't like that. I need a spice. A hot flavor and Alex isn't really that.

So, what I did was left him some more marks, the gentleman that I am. Pretending and faking that I was enjoying the situation I am in even though I am completely not. My mind and basically all of me is stuck in that hell hole of a Malfoy.

I continued with my never ending foreplay, make out because I know I won't fuck this adorable boy. I'm just testing the waters out.

But I never stopped peppering him with marks over his neck and I, don't even know what to feel about this, picked him up and wrapped his legs around my waist and he moaned as my mouth traveled lower and found his clothed nipple. I sucked on it, ignoring the music and other people. We're in a secluded area after all.

But it wasn't something that still provided me and the boy a privacy because I know, I was certain, that a familiar scent pass by behind me and loosely and discreetly touched my back and when my cock fluttered, I knew then who it was.

I stopped at what I was doing. Buried my head back in the neck of the person I am making out with, I thrusted my already hard cock against his ass and he moaned, thinking the hardness was because of him.

I growled, the first noise I ever let out as I turned my head and there he was, few feet away from me, glaring and I don't even know why.

But it excited me. A vixen. That's more like it.

"I'm thirsty" I whispered over his ear, "Can you wait for me in the counter and order us drinks, darling? I'll just go to the loo"

I didn't even know if my lie is believable or not but I didn't care. I just have to get out of here.

Alex moaned and I felt him nodded. I laid him back down in the floor as I tilted his chin up and for a minute, we stared at each other. He was biting his lips and looking at me with round eyes.

Whoever lands this boy is lucky. Too bad he's not the taste my cock is looking for. I brushed my thumb in his cheeks, "So sweet" 

He smiled at me and for a fraction, I felt my heart beat from its cage. I took my time in staring at him and brushing his cheeks, I feel bad so I am trying to at least show him some kindness and appreciation.

I eyes the marks I left around his neck and it seemed enough as a compensation of what I am about to do, ditching him.

"I apologize of breaking what I was doing a while ago"

And I also apologize for pretending.

He smiled and nodded again, "It's okay",

After that, I pulled away and smiled at him. With one last experiment, I dropped my hands to his butt and squeezed and there was still no excitement but he moaned and blushed and went to the counter to order drinks and wait for me just as I said it.

I sighed and clenched my jaw. I am angry. I am extremely angry at myself. I was never this bad.

I was about to walk away and leave when I felt a hand, my cock throbbed, and I knew then. With a still clenched jaw and raging expression, I grabbed his hand, wrapped another hand around his neck and not to worry, it wasn't that tight.

I dragged him towards the loo, ignoring my rejoicing erection. When we arrived inside the loo, several heads turned to us and I glared at them all and it seemed to be effective because they went out scurrying away.

I turned my head and locked the door wandlessly and toss Malfoy away from me. 

He raised an eyebrow and smirked at me and I glared at him even more, I growled and took a step closer, making sure I am as intense as possible, to get it through this vixen's head of what I can do if he doesn't stop this craziness.

"How dare you" I spat. 

How dare you hug me Malfoy when you were kissing another man. And how dare me for making out with that innocent boy. 

He merely smirked even more, "poor boy" he reminded and shook his head, feigning sympathy.

I took two another steps, my hand balling into fist. "Why it is you're really trying to accomplish?"

My voice is drilling with wrath and if he won't give me a sound answer, I would storm that man in his apartment and demand why he was kissing him this morning.

Yes, I am not jealous. Believe me with that.

"Why are you always at where I am?" I asked when I realized I have been seeing him whenever I go out.

He smirked even more, "I wanna fuck you again"

With the amount of control I usually have, I lost it. I slammed him in the sink, turned him around and make him face the mirror as I vanished his trousers off and I simply took my cock out.

I ravished him in that loo. I thrusted, pounded carelessly as I gripped his hips tight and he began moaning, "P-potter. Potter"

I clenched my jaw and glared at his back, "I saw you kissing another man. Who is he?"

I am not jealous.

He smirked, "Just someone"

I growled dangerously and eyed him through the mirror and he stared right back bravely. 

"Who am I?" I asked angrily and he seemed to hesitate. He blinked and tried to open his mouth to speak and then closed it again. 

I gave him a darker stare and he gasped. I pulled back and slammed inside as hard as I can and waited for his answer.

Who am I, Malfoy? Who the fuck am I?

"J-just...someone"

I clenched my jaw so hard, hardest than I have clenched it ever and pulled away. 

Yes, just someone. Of fucking course. I am just someone. I zipped my cock in my jeans and tried to calm myself down. My cock is still hard and I am fucking fuming. How dare him toy with me. He stared at me wide eyed through the mirror, unable to process the fact I stopped fucking into him.

I puffed out few deep breaths as I pocketed my hands, I nearly hexed him. Nearly but I was able to hold myself back.

_"Potter"_

I didn't care what his tone was or what was he about to say. I apparated away and left him there.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so let me rant a little bit because I can still feel my hands trembling and shaking. I was so scared while I was walking at the other side of the road a while ago BECAUSE SOMEONE NEARLY HAD AN ACCIDENT IN FRONT OF ME, IN FRONT OF MY EYES AND I FCKING SCREAMED BECAUSE OH MY GOD IT WAS SO SCARY!!! I was so thankful when the woman managed not to hit the other car!
> 
> So, I apologize if I cannot write a proper smut for this chapter. I am still scared and can still vividly remember what happened especially that small distance between two cars who nearly hit each other!!!

I stayed at my apartment for the next week. Ignored Ron and 'Mione's calls trying to invite to me the Burrow. 

I just want to be left alone because all my emotions are bottled up inside me and I don't know what to say. I cannot tell them what I am currently feeling because it involves Malfoy and his gayish ways. I cannot tell them I'm gay because I am not. I cannot tell them I am confused because I don't know what to say.

So, I talked with my own self, with Siri, with the things inside my apartment as I try to get answers for one question.

I still get hard over the thought of him but I try to avoid to wank and imagine him swallowing my cum because I don't know. I am just angry of myself and of how I reacted.

I don't know why his answer that I am just someone angered me. So, I apparated away and hoped to never see him again.

I tried to have sex once, bed a woman who lives in the same apartment complex I am in but my cock won't get hard and I only ended up embarrassing her and myself.

I sighed as I watched a movie, more likey gay porn, I'll deny that the porn involved a blonde boy. And my cock is dripping at the thought of him.

I imagined the man on screen was him and I was the other one. I clenched my jaw as I palmed my cock, tried to settle it down but it won't do because all I could think about is Malfoy, Malfoy, Malfoy.

I took my cock out of the boxers I am wearing nd began pumping. Fuck. I really don't want to but I cannot control myself anymore. I pumped my hands faster and harder as the men on screen began to chase their orgasm, their noises filling the my whole apartment followed by the loud voices of my thoughts.

I saw Malfoy, kneeling at my feet as he fondled my balls and waited for me to cum to paint his face messily and he will scoop it with his fingers and feed himself, satisfied.

I groaned and pumped my cock faster as I saw Malfoy sticking his tongue out and seducing me to come for him.

"Aah!" I growled out as I feel my orgasm start to build up. I'm coming, i'm close.

I was about to shoot my cum into Malfoy's waiting mouth and face but I heard someone knocked on my door loudly and I grumbled when the image of Malfoy vanished.

I glaringly put my cock back in my boxers and stood up. I wasn't expecting someone important today and maybe that's just Ron and 'Mione so I didn't bother putting on clothes, and just went to open the door in my boxers.

But as I opened the door and let them in, I saw it wasn't them. It was Malfoy, biting his lips and playing with his fingers.

"Malfoy?", I asked surprised because what is he doing here? He was about to speak when someone shouted and I stilled.

I...

I forgot to turn the porn off.

He blushed and turned at me, "Are you having an orgy?"

I would want to face another Voldemort again rather than hearing that question for the second time.

"No. No!" I answered terrified as I wandlessly turned the tv off and when I look back, I saw him smirking at me. "My, my, Potter. I didn't know you're busy",

I rolled my eyes as he began to notice my appearance. I wasn't wearing anything but my boxers and the way he was examining me made my cock throb. He bit his lips as he saw the bulge in my lower region.

I wasn't able to react when he pushed me roughly and I stumbled to lean on the wall as Malfoy stepped inside and slammed the door close.

I wasn't able to react again when he kneeled and without wasting a second, mouthed my clothed erection and I groaned. I don't know what he is doing but I let him, only because cock wants me to let him taste it and reach my pending orgasm. It's not because my insides wants him to. No. It's my cock that wants to.

I watched him lick the wetness of my boxers before sliding them down. I watched him on his knees as he took my cock out and began doing things.

He gave my head a kitten lick, the tip of this tongue teasingly played with my slit and sucking the precum like a water. He slid his tongue and licked the sides of my shaft, the veins protruding and I moaned as I gripped the back of his head for leverage. I didn't push him in or control his pace because my cock wanted to follow and wait for his movements.

"M-malfoy" I called out and panted.

He looked at me before tentatively putting the head of my cock and suctioning expertly. We stared at each other as he swallowed inch by inch and I felt myself harden even more at the actual sight of my imaginations.His mouth full of me and kneeling willingly. He looked so pretty.

I bit my lips as he started his ministrations. He slowly bobbed up head up and down as he pump what he cannot put on his mouth. His other hand gripped my thighs.

He sucked and it gave me the most perfect frictions, the feelings going to my cock as he thrusted his face rougher, my cock hitting the back of his throat. I groaned.

That wet tight heat. It was my cock needed and here it is, granted of its wishes. I forgot the rage I have with him back at Gaydar and the madness I have with myself.

I moaned louder, "Malfoy!"

His other hand began to fondle my balls enthusiastically and I saw a blinding light. He pulled his face away and moved lower.

He began sucking and nibbling at my balls as he dragged his hands up and down my erection, pulling at the foreskin and pushing back. I groaned and gripped his head tighter as I began to feel the build up in my abdomen.

"F-fuck! fuck malfoy" I growled loudly as I felt my orgasm approaching loudly.

And he knew, he let go of my balls but continued fondling them as he put my cock back in his mouth and he moaned as he deep-throated me and blew me faster.

He was moaning as he bobbed up and down, calling me to cum in his mouth and I did. I close my eyes as my legs slightly shuddered and I cummed and cummed at his wet mouth, feeling him swallow every ounce of it and some dripped down out of his mouth.

When I was done, I took my softening cock out of his mouth and scooped the cum and fed it to him. He opened his mouth willingly and licked the cum off of my fingers the same way he licked my cock.

I leaned on the wall and sighed. He stood up before smirking at me and wiping his lips, "Like it?"

My cock loved it but I wouldn't tell him that. I sighed and looked at him as I faced the question that was originally be asked a while ago.

"What are you doing here?"

His face got back into blushing immediately and he nibbled his lips and I found myself looking at it and wanting to taste it.

I shook my head to brush those thoughts away. No. I don't kiss. I don't kiss.

He sighed and spoke, "I-i... like you"

What he said was something I didn't expect. Whatever it was, that answer was something I didn't think off, not even the slightest bit.

I watched him strangely as he glared at my nonsense reaction. "I fucking like you, Potter! Goddamnit"

I clenched my jaw and coincidentally, yes, coincidentally, my cock starts to get hard again. I yanked his arms fastly and lifted him off of his feet and he squeak in surprise.

"Potter!" he encircled his arms on my neck and moaned when I crashed my lips to him. I don't know. I'm straight.

He responded and I walked us to my bedroom where I laid him there. My hands began skating upwards to the inside of his skirt where he looks so gorgeous in and found my hands in contact of his lacy knickers and I growled as I nibbled his lips and he opened up.

My tongue found its way inside and we fought, our own saliva mixing in and he just tasted so good. His smooth and small lips tasted so good.

"Mmmhmm" he moaned as I thrusted my cock into his covered one. I can feel him hard and wet.

I pulled back and removed his skirt and his blouse but I left the knickers on. I stared at it and it did nothing to cover his hard and leaking cock. He looked so hot in lacy knickers. I looked up at him and saw him staring back at me, eyes clouded with lust and obvious pleasure.

Experimentally, I grinded my cock again and he moaned. I bent back down, I leaned one of my hand beside his head, careful not to lay it above his mussed hair as my other one played with his boobs.

I tweaked the nipple and he arched his back. His hands skating up and down my back, his nails digging in as he wrapped his legs around me.

"Aah! Ooh! P-potter—

"It's Harry. It's Harry" I whispered, I don't know why I said that but I did. Really did.

I began nibbling at his ear to his jaw and to his neck where I began leaving lovebites after lovebites. Not missing his fair skin and not missing to inhale the scent that made me leak in his knickers. He was moaning and scratching my back with his sharp nails but I didn't mind.

I traveled lower and suck on his boobs, his nipples on my tongue and it fucking tasted good. Tasteless but I don't know why I still thought it tasted good.

"H-harry" he called out and it was probably the most delectable and most delightful of sounds I have ever come across...or so, my cock thought.

I slid my hand down and rubbed his dick through his knickers. He moaned more and I wanted to hear a lot of it. So, I brushed his knickers aside and began circling his rim.

I teased it with the pad of my fingers and his nails dig in my back even more but I didn't mind the scratches. I actually find it so hot.

"Harry" he called again and I didn't know why but I smiled. I felt it. I smiled.

I kissed him again, this time more intense and passionate. He responded back, his hips thrusting and I growled. This time different than the last two times I touched him. It feels different this time.

I pulled away and pushed a finger inside, he arched his back. I groaned at the feeling of his tight hole, sucking me in perfectly and I didn't know that fingering Malfoy could be better than any woman I have ever touched. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Maybe I'm gay. 

I blinked and entered another finger, stretching him open and I explored his insides, touching unimaginable parts that sent him moaning for me more. He called my name and raked his fingers down to my butt and squeezed and I moaned. His hands are great.

I bent down and bit a skin down his collarbone, from the experience I have when I fucked him back in the elevator, I redirected and pushed in, "In. In me now, Harry" he demanded and I nodded.

I pushed my boxers down and entered him, his legs tightening around me as he raised his hips and met my thrusts and we moaned at the same time. Our hips in synchronous moves as his cock bobbed in his stomach to mine, I can feel him leaking and wet just right.

"Fuck" I cussed and tightened my grip on the sheets and in his hip. "H-harry"

"M-malfoy" I moaned back and he stared at me, "It's d-draco"

I nodded and groaned his name in his ears, "Draco" I bit his ears and playfully nibbled at it as I changed my directions and pounded hard.

"Harry!"

I hit it right then. I panted and continued the pace I set, his legs shuddering with delight and his fingers dug in my back. I can feel the stinging pain but it wasn't pain that was bad. Fuck, it was good.

I thrusted into that tight valley hugging my cock perfectly, played my thrusts to the hilt.

"Aaah! H-harry, coming..c-coming" he said and I gasped and looked at him as he arched his back, his face of pure ecstacy as he came in our stomach. The sight is too sexy and sensuous and his hole contracted as he reach the last of orgasm. It send me following him and I came with a last thrust. 

With the exhaustion of what I did and from coming twice, I collapsed on top of him as I breathed heavily. I felt his legs fell on his sides but his hands stayed around me.

I buried my head in his sweaty neck inhaled his sweet scent as I felt one of his hand travel to the back of my head and played with my hair.

Fuck.

I'm gay. I'm gay. I'm gay.

"I'm gay" I whispered, more like to confirm it with myself and Draco chuckled beneath me and it amazes me how he isn't even complaining with my weight crushing him. And it felt nice the way his fingers are massaging my scalp.

"Isn't that great, Potter" he murmured and I smiled. Maybe it's great to be gay.

I nibbled on his neck and thrusted my cock that's still inside him, "One more round?"

After an hour, I found myself watching him sleep. He was peaceful and now that I think about it, denials aside, he looks bloody gorgeous.

I leaned on my left elbow as my right hand lay on his cheek, wiping the sweat on his forehead and playing with his bottom lip. It's nice, it's nice.

I don't know how to come out to the world but I'll see it then when the time comes I need to. The good thing is, I came out in myself and to him. That's a starting step.

Do I like him? Maybe or I do already. It doesn't matter. He's with me and I am with him.

I smiled. Yes, fuck, I am gay.

I pecked a kiss on his lips softly. Who would have thought I will be kissing Malfoy? If you told me this seven years ago, I would have thrown up. I would have hexed you. I would have sassed the fuck out of you.

But if you tell it to me now, I would simply just say I am glad. Because I am. Fuck, I am glad.

I don't think it's too late for me to really discover who I am or who I am attracted to because it's never too late when it comes to knowing yourself. I am awakened and I think it's a thank you to Malfoy because I saw him at Gaydar and if I didn't, then I wouldn't be where I am now.

It's good. It's good to be gay. 

It's thank you to his lacy knickers, sexy legs, round butt, feminine body, and his fucking face. It's thank you that he came here today and blew me and I fucked him and I kissed him. It's also thank you to my cock who wouldn't stop thinking about him. 

I sighed blissfully satisfied and pecked him on his lips once more as I gently removed his hands around me and stood up.

I put the blanket around him and went to grab myself a new clean boxers. I went to the kitchen to make something to eat for us when he wakes up. 

I cannot cook that well like Mrs. Weasley but I can bake. I just cooked us a nice simple meal and made us something to drink. I am in the process of frying some hams when I felt arms encircled my waist. I smiled and turned around. I saw him wearing one of my shirts and it looks amazing on him.

He smirked at me and I am fucking gay.

He stood on his toes and kissed me and I smiled before grabbing his booty and yanked him up. He moaned and I set him on the sink before waving a hand to turn the stove off. I kissed him on his lips deeper but slower this time, his fingers raked over my back and I felt his fingers dug into the obvious scratches he did an hour before and I was reminded of the moment where I realized and accepted I was gay. 

Hmm. Fuck yeah.

I pulled away and smiled at him. I pecked his lips over and over again. I know I am addicted to it. This tempest that rocked my straight world and I was fucking awakened.

He smiled back. Not a smirk. He smiled back, his eyes telling me his confession is real and yes, I believed it. I wouldn't see the world the same anymore.

I chuckled and once again, buried my face in his neck. Fuck, I am gay. I really am gay.

"I like you Harry" he whispered and I chuckled sweetly and sucked on one of the lovebites I made on his neck.

Fuck, I am gay for Draco Malfoy. And no other.


End file.
